The local Patch asked me what advice I would offer to graduates. This is it…
Dear Graduates,
In the next few weeks, you’ll be getting tons of advice. Some will come in the form of little cutesy gift books bought at the Hallmark shop by distant relatives. Some will come from that blowhard uncle who has an opinion on everything and has one-beer-too-many at your graduation party. And some will come in columns like this. In all likelihood, you’ll blow it all off. That’s okay. Most of the advice will be good, and that wisdom will still be floating out there in the universe when you need to hear it.
Here are some things I wish people had told me when I was your age:
1) Have adventures. There will be plenty of time later in life to get trapped in the cycle of debt and consumerism. Go spend some time in the Peace Corps, as a Jesuit Volunteer, backpacking on the Appalachian Trail, sleeping in a hostel in Paris. You’ll learn and love and when it’s all over, you’ll be a better person. Ironically enough, seeing how amazing the rest of the world is will also open your eyes to how amazing your hometown is.
2) Decide what kind of person you want to be. Seventy years from now, when three friends and family members are delivering eulogies at your funeral, what do you want them to say about your character? Now here’s the big secret: that person is already inside of you. Start acting like him or her and that’s who you will become. Want to be an artist? Start acting like an artist. Want to be known for your compassion? See yourself as already being compassionate. “Fake it until you make it†actually works.
3) As a corollary to #2, surround yourself with the kind of people you want to become. Sure you chose your friends during your school years, but the pool you were choosing from wasn’t that big. Some of your current friends don’t share your values, and you’re going to have to get past your sense of loyalty to get on with your life. This is really hard to hear, and even harder to do. But you’re going to become more and more like your “crew,†and if that crew is obsessed with partying or being cool or getting laid, you are going to lose valuable years you can never get back.
4) Do better. My generation and the ones that came before it have been awful. We’ve worshiped the “god†in the mirror, promoting selfishness, individualism and greed. The result is that while we live longer and own more, we are miserable. And we are destroying our planet’s ability to sustain life. We’ve done our best to screw you up too, with “helicopter†parents insisting that its all about you all the time and you should never ever be held accountable for your actions. And yet, you’re turning out okay, with better values than us. It’s going to be your world soon, and the sooner the better. Vote, run for office, save us from our miserable selves.
5) Seriously bad things can happen. Some days are going to be hard. But you have a decision to make. If you see things as miserable and terrible, they will be. If you see every day as filled with possibility, that will be your experience. Believing is seeing. Faced with a crippled man, Jesus didn’t make a big show out of the healing. He said “Get up, take up your mat, and walk.†Get up, face forward, and keep going. Something amazing is going to happen. Are you ready?